Chronic Illness: Being Clingy With Your Doctor (And Why This Is Totally Okay)

If you're battling chronic health issues like I am, welcome to the club that we never asked to be a part of but now get the lifetime VIP package. Yay us!

So if you’re here, you probably know and understand the pure chaos that life is when you are living with a chronic illness.

Exhibit A: your phone. Somewhere among cute pet pictures, random screenshots of memes you’ll never look at again, or DIY crafts you’ll probably never get to, there’s an entire medical encyclopedia.

Pictures of weird rashes, swelling, mystery bruises, and possibly that one speckle that looked “a little too purple” last week.

Next up: the Notes app, where you've documented every weird symptom, from “felt like burning needles stabbing me” to “left eye twitching aggressively when watching reels at 1 AM.”

Oh, and let’s not forget about the 92 reminders set to “mention that weird chest pain" at your next doctor appointment.

The real kicker?

By the time you actually get to that appointment, you completely forget to look at your phone. It’s like living the World’s Worst Comedian Show: you get on stage (the exam table), and suddenly you have zero material. Instead, you spend the appointment convincing yourself and the doctor that you have been doing great most of the time. Only to get back to your car and realize all your questions, notes, and photos are still there — plus a few new ones.

Some of the things you do remember feel so irrelevant by the time you’re talking to your doctor that you start second-guessing whether they were ever that important to begin with.

All while hearing that little voice in the back of your mind saying, "Am I complaining too much? Will my doctor break up with me? How clingy is too clingy in this relationship?"

Living with chronic illness sometimes feels like being in a toxic relationship.

You do not want to be that person — the one who is always texting, "Are you awake?" but instead it is, "Do you think this rash is normal?" You worry if you are being dramatic.

Spoiler: you are not. And if your doctor tells you that you are dramatic, you should probably run for the hills anyway.

Here’s the Real Talk

You deserve to mention anything that’s impacting your life, stressing you out, or just generally making you feel like a malfunctioning robot.

Your experiences are real. Your symptoms are real.

And no, you are not being a hypochondriac — you are being a responsible human advocating for their health.

What Symptoms Are "Worth" Bringing Up?

• Recurring symptoms: If it’s shown up to the party more than once or twice, it’s RSVP’d “yes” — and you should tell your doctor.

• Documentable stuff: Rashes, swelling, funky things you can photograph? 📸 Save those pictures, my friend. Your doctor will appreciate it (even if they do not say they appreciate 45 blurry pictures of your ankle from awkward bathroom angles that do not show anything the doctor can even see).

• Impactful symptoms: If it’s affecting your quality of life, messing with your work, your sleep, your ability to binge-watch bad Hallmark movies in peace — it’s worth mentioning.

Something happening once, maybe twice, and then resolving might not be at the top of the list to bring up at your appointment. But if it’s major, ongoing, or causing you stressful symptoms, tell your team.

We have the advantage of living in 2025, where most doctors have patient portals you can use to send important symptom updates in real time. (Yes, sometimes it feels awkward messaging, “So my leg is itchy and I have a migraine?” at 2 AM, but hey, modern problems require modern solutions.)

And Speaking of Teams...

If you feel like your doctor is not listening — or if they make you feel like you are starring in Hypochondriac: The Documentary — it might be time to shop around for someone else. There are plenty of doctor fish in the sea.

You deserve a team that takes you seriously, supports you, and helps you put the pieces of your health puzzle together — even if those pieces are confusing, blurry, and oddly shaped.

It took me a few years to find the doctor that I have now. And a few years ago, he left to go out of state.

I was heartbroken and lost — until he made his great return.

I may or may not have jokingly threatened him if he decides to leave again. 😂But that's for another blog post.

Find your own doctor that will listen to you, validate you, and help you understand your experience. It’s okay to break up with them if you do not get that kind of treatment.

Final Thoughts

Managing chronic illness has been quite a journey, and it’s already difficult enough living a life that does not always feel like yours.

Do not make it harder by silencing yourself. Speak up, document the weirdness, and know that you are not alone.

Half of us are out here with camera rolls full of questionable bruises and enough symptom notes to fill up all 128GB on our phones.

Join a support group!If you struggle with Vasculitis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, or any other conditions like me, find some support — whether it’s a physical group or an online one.

Learn and understand that you are not alone.

Educate yourself, find your community of people who understand you, and — most importantly — be kind to yourself.

And buckle up for this crazy ride. 🎢